16: You Asked For This

Part Two: Transformation

CORDELIA

“I want you to know three things immediately.” Orthus voice said softly, his face leaning close to mine. “First, and most importantly, you are under my protection here in Summer.” He brushed a loose dark wave behind my ear. I was prone in his arms, still in the rose garden. “I will protect you with my life, as will those who have sworn allegiance to me.” I didn’t know why, but I felt nothing but the truth was spoken from his lips. I was not in danger. “Second, as part of our bargain, which you agreed to and set the terms of, you have given up your memories of your life before you slipped the veil. You had lost some of them already. It might be confusing to acclimate without those memories. You might know things but not understand from where you do. You might fear things without actually understanding the root of that fear. We are here to help you transition through this-” I knit my brows together. I was confused but strangely at peace. “What’s the first thing you remember?” He asked, his blue eyes questioning me.

“Penelope—Nelo, finding me hurt in the field,” I said. I reached my hand towards his face and brushed the bridge of his nose. “I—I hit you,” I said, suddenly overcome with shame and regret. He took my hand gently and placed it back on my chest.

“The third thing I want you to know now….” He paused, taking a deep breath. Looking back towards me, he set his jaw and said, “Protection cloaks of this—caliber, they can invoke certain feelings for the involved parties. It is natural should we feel an—“ he scratched his neck a bit awkwardly, “An attraction of sorts to one another.” He said, slightly embarrassed. My heart thumped in my chest. An attraction of sorts seemed like an understatement. I was still pained at the memory of hitting him. It felt like seconds ago. I knew it couldn’t be, and he was obviously healed now. “We don’t need to act on it. I wanted to let you know that now. Maybe it might be best if we didn’t do anything we might regret later.”

My stomach dropped. Why did those words feel like such a punch in the gut? I remembered Orthus before this moment. Fear blinded me to hurt him, recoil from his touch, and lie to him. Lie to him… about what? I couldn’t remember. Maybe Orthus knew.

“Can you see my memories, my past?” I asked him meekly. The few things I could recall seemed to bunch together; my memories timeline was squashed. Punching Orthus, Nelo telling me about losing time, and the fights with Vas all felt as if they had happened in the same instance.

“That’s not how the bargain works, Cordelia. The bargain is its own entity. It takes something important to both parties and turns those things into the magic itself. It took your memories and my life debt and allowed me to weave a cloak of protection. The magic made the fiber out of things we hold dear.” He lifted me from my prone position, laying on his lap, seated beside him on a wrought iron bench—the garden of roses as beautiful as before. The pulsing of the plants and the entirety of nature seemed so strange, but I couldn’t pull from my mind why. The petals and leaves pulsed minutely as though they grew and shrunk ever so slightly, repeatedly. Maybe they were breathing. I placed my hand on Orthus’s cloaked thigh. His throat bobbed.

“Thank you,” I told him. “I know you did this for Nelo; she is my friend- and so are you.” I took my hand back, placing it on my lap, looking down at my tan, rough hands. “I’d like to do something here, in your court, if I’m to make my life here,” I told him. He inclined his head to me, the sheet of white hair slipping from behind his shoulder as he did so.

“You don’t need to do anything for me—We can still try to find a way home for you,“ He started, but I cut him off.

“Why go home? I know that it’ll be 30 years later, and I don’t even remember what I would want to go home to. If you’ll have me here, I think I could stay. I need to do something, though. I know I’m not the kind of woman that can sit idle. I can’t be without a purpose. Give me a job, something to do with my time.” I told him.

“You would stay?”

“Would you let me?”

“I would die for you.” His tone was so matter-of-fact. I tried to remain apathetic, but my heart might have stopped. I was glad when Orthus didn’t leave room for my response. “Maybe you could start by assisting Nelo with her weaving duties? I know she feels in over her head with the solstice ball. I’m sure she could use help, or at least company, with the wards and protections she needs to weave.” I did remember the ball; nervousness crept into my chest—apprehension without understanding why I should be. I tried to push the feeling of anxiety down, but it lingered in the pit of my stomach.

“I can do that, and I’m sure she will like the company.” I turned towards one of the abundant pink rose bushes to the right. I plucked one of the pulsing pink flowers from the stem. I held it and watched the pulsing slow until it became utterly still. Orthus’s gaze burned into me, unblinking, too unwavering. I didn’t look at him,

I couldn’t- We didn’t want to act on these- feelings. I wasn’t sure how they could be artificial- I couldn’t remember my past, but I felt like I hadn’t burned like this for someone before. I took the bloom and placed it on his lap. Orthus breathed a small laugh as he looked down at it. Picking up the pink rose, he turned my face towards his and placed it behind my ear. With that same hand, using just his index finger, he tilted my chin towards his, everything moving in slow motion. Heat flowed to my face, and I held my breath as I waited for his lips to meet mine. I would die for you.

“Orthus!” Vasileios said sternly. He had come up the pea gravel path, unbeknownst to either myself or the king. Our attention had been elsewhere. He stood there, hand resting on the hilt of his sword swung low on his hips. His black eyes narrowed at the scene we created under the arbor. Withdrawing his hand quickly from my face, he stood. Pulling his shoulders back and setting his jaw forward, his voice deeper than when we spoke. “You’re needed.” He barked. The king sighed.

“I’ll be there shortly.” He turned his head back to me.

“No—now please, it’s imperative.” Vasileios’s anger was not tempered by his politeness.

“I’ll send Nelo to fetch you.” Orthus’s mouth forced into a taught false smile. He joined Vas, who looked at me in what I assume could only be disgust. He let the Summer King make his way towards the estate before turning back to me.

“You’re in danger here.” He said through gritted teeth and turned his heel to follow the King up the path towards the estate. I heard Vas whisper towards Orthus.

“You are a fool. I can’t believe you would do this….” His voice trailed as they walked further out of earshot. In the breathing garden, I sat there and let the tiny seed of distaste I remembered of Vas and our interactions bloom into a fully formed feeling of hate. Who was he to decide for the King the best course of action? I made it my mission to avoid Vas. Nelo came bounding quickly down the path, her eyes full of concern. She reached the spot where Vas had scolded us and looked towards me.

“Vas said, well, are you alright?” She asked, coming to sit beside me where Orthus had once been. I frowned at her.

“I’m fine. Why shouldn’t I be?” She motioned towards my chest, where that first stitch of my former cloak had been cleaved apart. She worked her thumb, pointer, and middle finger into strange pulling motions above my chest. A spark of golden electricity zapped her hand, and she pulled it back and yelped in pain. “What on earth are you doing, Nelo?” I asked, placing a hand under the spot she had been inspecting.

“What did you give him for this?” Her eyes made it seem like maybe I had made a mistake in trusting Orthus, but that couldn’t be true, could it? “It’s powerful—“

“I gave him what I had to for protection, and it’s all I had.” I tapped my head. “I gave him my memories- the ones before Aidor.” She frowned, leaning into me with worry splashed across her face.

“What did he give you….” She asked, rubbing the hand that had just been zapped by power.

“His protection, a life debt.” Nelo’s eyes shot wide.

“How could he? He should have consulted me, or at least Vas. This is a bad idea.” She took a few calming breaths. “We could have protected you without this. If anything happens to you, Vas is….” I got her meaning. Life debt was literal then. “I’m sorry I told you about the time shift; I thought that when Orthus showed you the fairy pool, he would have told you. I don’t know why he didn’t—It’s concerning the things that were kept from you. Cordelia, there were other ways than this for us to protect you. You’ll never remember your family, your life before. Orthus life is tied to yours—This is an utter mess!” She threw her hands in the air in exasperation. “Bargains made on love are the strongest, but memories of love, I imagine, are a close second. The things that make us, well us, are the strongest kind of magic to trade for.” Sudden realization flashed on her face. “Do you feel like you love him?” She asked.

My eyes went wide. “I- I don’t know if I love him,” I said, my face screwing up against the accusation. “I think there are feelings there that weren’t before, on both sides-“ She placed her palms over her eyes.

“This is the last thing we need, before the solstice, before….” I scoffed, cutting her off.

“I’m sorry to be an inconvenience to your party.” I spat, obviously hurt, towards her.

“Goddess, that’s not what I meant, Cordelia. This bargain is going to complicate things. I wish you wouldn’t have acted so quickly. Orthus shouldn’t have jumped to this.  I’m sorry if you think I’m mad at you. I’m not. I’m mad at this situation, about the danger it puts my king in—about leaving you with nothing but the few days memories you have here.” She grabbed my hand and lifted me to my feet, and she began leading me up the trail. “I guess you’re here for a while, though, huh? I suppose to have the protection for my friend is a small comfort regardless of the cost.” I took the crook of her hand into the crook of my elbow.

“Orthus said he did it for you, you know?” Her worried face softened slightly at the remark. “He said that he owed you more than he could ever repay,” I told her. Tears welled in her dark almond eyes. She looked away and wiped at them with her free hand.

“He shouldn’t try to repay that debt.” She muttered as we made our way into the estate but pulled me closer to her body as we crossed the threshold to the grand building.