15: A Bargain

CORDELIA

The beast’s form filled my field of vision—deep blue skin, like an oil slick, its colossal body filled with sinewy muscles. The foul creature’s eyes were entirely black, and searching, he looked through me. Its serrated teeth gnashed the air as he spoke. His voice sounded like many different tortured voices, deep and haunted.

“Where are you, child?” The darkness of his voice filled my every sense. His form drifted away from me as though it vaporized in the air. What followed was chilling darkness.

The scent of roses brought me out of that blackness. Slowly sparks of white bit back the empty darkness that filled my field of vision. Pops of pink roses materialized over my head. I felt his strong hands behind my neck, holding my body. We were outside. I blinked furiously, trying to will the beast’s image away. Tilting his aquiline face towards me, Orthus came into view. He held my body cradled like that of a child.

“I won’t ask if you’re alright. I’m sure you’re not.” Soft breezes dropped rose petals all around us. The flora of this fae realm throbbed and buzzed as if it had a pulse of its own. Orthus sucked in a breath, the column of his throat moving as he swallowed. “If I could safely take you home now, I would, but I can guarantee no safety except here, in Summer lands. I nearly died when I went back for her.”

Although I was with him now, in the garden of roses, I still couldn’t speak. I stared up at him as he looked down at me and continued. “She shouldn’t have told you like that, but she’s lost so much and been so strong. Nelo doesn’t realize everyone isn’t as strong as her. She means well. She’s been lonely for a long time. She lost so much fighting with me, for the woman I loved, only for that same woman to betray us all. I thought she’d hold that against you. I was so surprised she even brought you, a mortal, back to the estate.” He sighed and stroked my brow; I let him- unsure of why I didn’t protest. “Others in this land, in all of Aidor, don’t value human life as we do. If I can’t take you home, I can let you make one here. I can protect you if you let me, Cordelia. With the solstice ball coming up, I can’t risk your safety with the other courts. I can’t risk Nelo losing someone again. But we have to have some agreement between us, a bargain. I owe it to Nelo. I will never be able to repay her for what she lost in the war.” He paused and sighed, closing his eyes as if lingering in some painful memory. Sensation slowly came back to my limbs as I wiggled my fingers, finally able to move again. I put my hand over my face and let out a heavy breath.

“You lied to me.” I hissed. “You told me you would protect me.” I accused him, trying to wriggle out from the king’s grip.

“What good would it have done you to know? To know that every day here was another year for your home, your family.” He tightened his arms around me as I squirmed in anger against him. “I let you hope. It was not out of cruelty but for your own good.” My own good? How dare he. I gritted my teeth. I would hit him again if I could. I struggled my body against his—thirty years lost at home. Caleb would be an old man by the time I returned if we could even find a way to send me back. Orthus didn’t do anything but hold my body, and he whispered that he was sorry.

“How did you even send her back before? She was human. Surely she would have been an old woman when she returned. What else aren’t you telling me?” He was so strong. Without even trying, I knew he wouldn’t let me go.  Seeing that I wasn’t going to escape his grasp, I calmed the movements of my body and searched Orthus face for answers.

“Part of her cloak, it would keep her ageless until we used the cloak’s power to bring her home.” He loosened his grip as it wasn’t needed to pin me to his form any longer. “I told you I would take care of you. I will not bind you here. It isn’t what you want. I will give you that choice. You can remain here, and we will still try to find a way to get you home if you so wish.”  He seemed repentant of the situation, but it did little to stop my anger from turning to sadness. I was trapped here with them, as time burned quickly at home. I wonder if my village thought me dead— I don’t see how they could assume I had survived.

“What choice do I have?” I asked him with honesty. He removed his hands from my body, taken aback by my answer.

“There is always a choice, Cordelia. You can choose to be protected; you choose to let me keep you safe here. You can also choose to leave but at great cost to your life.” He brought a hand down and stroked my face, “If you leave here if you get hurt, you doom us both.” He stroked my cheek again with his knuckles, and I let him, but I’m not sure why. I wanted to hate him, but he was right. What good would telling me about the time shift do?  Less friendly kingdoms of my kind will enslave you or kill you for sport. The small pockets of humans that remain in Aidor aren’t living what anyone would call a life- they are simply surviving. You can thrive here in Summer.” Orthus spoke softly to me.

“What does my end of the bargain require?” I asked. I would not be taken for a fool.

“I do not wish to take anything from you; you’ve already lost too much.” He said, looking towards the rows of pink and red roses. “But every bargain requires some small price. What could you give?” What had I to give? I closed my eyes, hoping not to see the beast again, my family in pain, or Caleb fucking me and leaving me. I wanted a clean slate.

“Could the bargain take my memories? I know they’re somewhere in here, in my mind. Maybe If I could forget what little I did remember, this would be easier,” The lie was on remembering them, but if I was stuck here, I’m not sure I could bear their weight. The yearning for revenge tore at my heart with every waking moment. Could he take them in exchange for protection? “It will be easier to accept my fate here.” He frowned.

“Are you sure? If you can recover them, your memories might be the last bit of your family you have left.” He said, “That is a steep price to pay,” He ran his open palm over his face before a realization hit him, “but the steeper the price, the stronger the protection.” I weighed my options on this bargain. I was not going back to the home I knew- that much was clear. The last memories of my family were terrible, the pain, the fire. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to think about their bodies burned and unburied. I wanted to be free from the guilt, from constantly being worried about spinning a lie to tell the fae. Orthus, a king, would grant me his protection. I’m not sure if there was a better bargain I could have. I was angry and grieving, but maybe I wasn’t so stupid as to turn down this one chance at happiness.

“Take it. Take all the memories of my family, my life before I slipped the veil. It serves no use to me here. It’s all I have to offer in exchange.” He placed his hand back on my brow.

“I accept the offer. Our bargain will take the memories of your life before you came here. I’ll take you as my ward here in the summer courts.  I offer you my protection, against my life, and a home in my estate. Do you accept?” He looked towards me.

“I do,” I told him. I wanted him to take the hurting away. I couldn’t ever get revenge, so why dwell in grief?

“Now, we set conditions. Our bargain is void, without any penalty, should you see your mother or father’s face again- I will not bind you to the summer courts if you can find them by some miracle.” A tear rolled down my cheek. It certainly would be a miracle. They were long dead. “And should I die before you,” He paused, probably knowing that the likelihood his immortal body wouldn’t outlast mine was ridiculous, “The next Summer king will be bound by this same bargain. You will be safe until your life ends here. I promise you.” He smiled, wiping the tear on my cheek with his thumb. “Tell me you accept the conditions, Cordelia.” He asked.

“I accept them.”  He nodded, pulling a golden sewing needle from a breast pocket of his robe. The needle, while large, fit his hands perfectly. The sun glinted off its sharp tip.

“I’ll weave you a cloak, Cordelia. The cloak will be woven on the price of our bargain, your memories. The magic will hold them as the fibers of protection. A stitch cannot be dropped unless the condition that you see your family again is met. I cannot reverse this otherwise, so make sure you are truly certain this is the path you want to take.” I closed my eyes tightly, picturing my mother and father, arms slung around each other, smiling at me and smiling at me this one last time.

“I’m sure.” My breath hitched as he reached the hand that held the needle and plucked the air towards my chest. A golden thread, the same kind that had broken when I arrived here, materialized with that same humming electricity. The tang of copper filled my mouth. Orthus slipped the golden thread through the eye of the needle, hands moving quickly around my chest, creating warps and wefts; a loose weave took shape around my entire form. Slowly my mind’s eye lost focus on my parent’s faces, their hair and skin evaporating into mist until only their eyes stared back at me. Those too faded as Orthus worked. The grief fizzled into the ether. A gasp escaped my mouth as I felt the weight lift from my body. I was protected. I was free.