19: Just A Side Effect

CORDELIA

We descend the stairs and turn down a hall in the foyer opposite the dining room. The door creaks on its golden hinges slightly as Vasileios opens them, revealing a stately Orthus sitting at his desk, papers strewn in front of him. He looked up towards Orthus like a parent ready to scold a child, but when he looked towards me, his eyes softened a bit- not wanting to hold that gaze, I dropped my eyes to my bare feet.

“Sit, both of you.” Orthus said, his voice measured and calm. Vas slumped, unceremoniously, into one of the plush red side chairs that sat in front of Orthus’s large desk, gold accents adorning every inch possible of the piece of furniture. Vasileios’s face was pulled into taught straight lips, his eyes brows raised as he waited for Orthus to speak. The king looked at me, and I moved to the chair next to his brother.

“Cordelia,” My heart skipped a beat to hear my name from his full lips. Just a side effect. I reminded myself.  “I’m sorry that I left so suddenly earlier. I hope you haven’t been too confused since—“ He paused, glancing at the ebony fae beside me. “Since we last spoke.”

“I’m fine, really. Nelo was showing me her workshop.” I decided to leave out the part where she asked me if I was in love with him.

“I brought you both here to set some things straight.” He pointed a pale finger towards Vasileios. “You will correct your statement about her being in danger here.” Vasileios glanced at me, obviously surprised the king had heard him. “Here, with me, is the safest place for Cordelia in all of Aidor.” Vas scoffed loudly and shook his head no.

“I will not. I will not watch history repeat itself. We only just have found this peace- Only just now come to terms with what you’ve done, Orthus.” His hand gestured widely as he yelled. “This bargain for what? She’s a human- she holds no gifts, what use is she to….” Orthus cut him off as his fist slammed on the wooden desk. I was surprised, given the force, that it didn’t cleave in two.

“You know what I owe Nelo, and this has nothing to do with the past. I didn’t take you for someone to think so low on humans—You fought with me for them.”

“I fought with you for one human Orthus. I fought because you’re my brother.” I watched as Vasileios dug his nails into the arm of the chair. “You told me what you offered in that bargain. What the fuck are you thinking? Protect this weak human woman for what? If Nelo needs a friend, we can find her one that isn’t so fucking dangerous for us.” Even though he would seem untethered to most, I could tell Vasileios was trying his best to conceal his rage.

“You will mind your king.” Orthus spoke the words slowly and deliberately.

“Is this all about Nelo? Or you just thinking with your cock again?” Even Vasileios knew he had gone too far at that point. Orthus’s always calm demeanor now changed for one of rage. I shrunk in my chair at the display.

“You have not a clue of what you speak about! I won’t ask you again—Correct your statement on Cordelia’s safety or face the consequences of disobeying your king.” The silence that followed felt like it lasted for a thousand years, even if it was only a few seconds in all reality. Vasileios turned his head to me, all the vitriol in his veins coming through his tone as he spat out what he was ordered to say.

“You are safe here, Lady Oscuro.” He didn’t mean a word of it. I knew that.

“It’s fine. I don’t want to cause this… I thought the bargain would make things easier, not more complicated- Also, just Cordelia is fine. I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to cling to a name I’ve given up, at least in memory.” I knew that was my false name, but I didn’t understand why it caused my stomach to drop every time I heard it. I was not too fond of the feeling- and maybe changing the subject would lighten the hostility in the room. Vasileios rolled his eyes. I felt—I’m not sure? Bad for the asshole that sat next to me. He had no power here. It seemed—even less power than a weak human woman.

“Well, congratulations, brother, on securing yet another dangerous ward, guaranteeing her safety with your own fucking life. I hope it pans out for you.” He shot a look towards me,

“You are in danger here, with him, my fucking king will be the downfall of us bo—“ Orthus stood, he pushed a hand towards where his brother sat, and a gust of warm wind blew him back through the frame of the door, chair and all. The legs of the armchair screeched with the speed at which they raced along the wood floors. Vas, stunned, gasped- the magic wind having cut off his breathing as it blasted towards him. Orthus brought his hand back towards his chest with a curl of his fingers, bringing the wind with it. The door slammed shut, leaving Vas in the hallway alone.

“Fuck you!” He screamed- something slammed hard on the door, making me jump in my seat. The footsteps trailed away from the office, though, and I relaxed, only slightly.

“I’m sorry about my brother.” Orthus said to me. “He’s still struggling with our past. I can promise you that I’ve learned some hard lessons over these years of war. While I don’t take this bargain lightly, it truly is for Penelope’s benefit- She told me of your friendship. While I don’t think you’d bring any danger to her, I had to help. I owe her so much….” I looked at this fae; he truly cared about his family. Why couldn’t his brother see that? Why couldn’t Vasileios listen and bide his king?

“I don’t know if Nelo agrees with the bargain either,” I confessed. “She said she shouldn’t try and repay that debt.” Orthus dropped his face in shame.

“I’ll do my best to, though. It ended the war but—The human I loved never returned. So now, we have a war fought for nothing, Circe is dead, and Vas will never forgive me. Too great a cost for peace when I could have just returned… her… to the Winter King. If she didn’t want to be with me—why cause this pain in her wake?” My heart broke to see him here, and he looked small in grief.

“I’m grateful for your help,” I said, standing and going to the side of the desk, closer to him. “I know there’s lots of history here, with your family. I know that I don’t have a history anymore. Maybe we can all work on the future instead of the past?” Orthus still didn’t have any life in his eyes. I took my hand and tilted his head up. Slowly his gaze lifted to me. “You can’t change it, so stop living in the past.” My chest thumped as I stood over his seated form. “I am grateful for your protection for this second chance.” As I placed my other hand on his face, cupping his cheeks beneath my palms, I felt his breath hitch slightly. He stood, my palms dropping to my sides, his eyes burning through me. He side-stepped from my touch swiftly, moving in front of the desk. He put the space between our bodies on purpose, I realized. This was about control.

“I need to find Vas. We need to sort some of this out, and he will be punished.” He pulled his shoulders back as he spoke.

“It’s fine, and you don’t have to punish him. Give him some time to realize I’m different from her.” Everything had fallen apart from the little I knew of their story when his former lover arrived at Summer. I could prove to Vas, no matter how much I disliked him, that I was worth… something. Taking his gold circlet from his head, Orthus placed it on the desk and ran his hand through the silky white mane of hair. “All the same, I’m here to maintain order. There are consequences for outbursts like that. Cordelia, you’re free to go anywhere in the estate you’d like. This is your home now. I’ll see you at dinner.” He left me alone in his office.

What had happened to the fae, I had met at the sparring ring? He was so jovial and flirtatious then. I was annoyed by his attentions but not left in fear like I was now. In Orthus’s oversized carved desk chair, I sat, a relief of a proud stag perched on the apex of the arched back. I hated this contention, hated that I felt responsible for it. I looked down at the papers on the desk and noticed the leather-bound book that Nelo had removed from my room my first morning here. It was open to a blank set of pages halfway through the book. I flipped back, curious to see if this was a notebook of some kind. The collection of pages previous was covered in sketches, a woman sleeping on sheets in a gossamer shift. Her breasts peaked through the thing material, expertly drawn. You could feel the lightness of the fabric. The woman's arm braced over her head in a sleeping position. I flipped to the previous page and found a detailed shot of the woman’s face- of my face. This sketchbook, the one on the armchair in my room, was full of sketches of me from that first night while I slept. Orthus had drawn me, drawn me with such care. The face was more beautiful than mine, an idealized version of me, but still me. I could faintly make out the scar that I had on my neck. I reached my hand to the real scar, feeling its generous dimensions. This would have been before, before our bargain. Without feeling, I wasn’t sure how you could draw a stranger like this.

I looked up again, suddenly afraid I was being watched, intruding into the king’s private things. I flipped back to the page and quickly made my way out of the room. Why had Orthus sat in my room and put so much beauty and love into these sketches? I was nothing special, just a human girl lost in a strange world. I thought of Orthus watching me while I slept, in that shift so sheer—warmth spread through my body. It lay lower, between my legs.

Stop it. I thought. I needed to find something to distract myself from this bond’s repercussions. I knew that acting on them would only make things worse now between these two brothers. I couldn’t let my want get in the way of my new life. I ascended the stairs and entered my room. I pulled the chair, the chair he had watched me from on the first night, to the window and sat down. The estate was beautiful, and it was my home, but I yearned for my room- this space that was most familiar in my shattered mind. I could see Orthus running towards Vasileios from my window, sitting on the edge of a low stone wall, head in his hands. Orthus came up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder before sitting next to him. Facing away from me, as they sat on that wall, I could see that not far past them, the earth dropped off—A cliff descending straight into a dark churning body of water, a sea. In my short time here, I had not realized that we were on the coast. I had only seen the other side of the estate, the fields, and gardens at which the entrance of this grand building lay. The waves crashed below the brothers, them looking as much as odds as the landscapes that surrounded the summer estate.

Vas and Orthus still yelled, Orthus calmer but his face grave. After a pause in their argument, Orthus spoke to his brother, the words I couldn’t make out. Vas hit his brother once on the chest with a fist in response and again as if beating on a door. Over and over, he his the king, until the king brought his arms up around the fae male and just held him. Vas’s blows became weaker and weaker in that embrace until finally, he stilled. Orthus was as unmoving as one of the many statues lined the gardens, but Vasileios moved like the waves below. His chest billowed up with each angry breath. Angry but allowing himself to be calm.

I felt once again like a stranger trespassing- and turned away. That rage, for his brother’s safety, Vasileios must love Orthus. He wanted him to be safe, to put the war behind them. A stupid human girl had needed his protection, and he had given it. It triggered the cruelness in Vasileios, and I’m not sure I blamed him. Emotions unattached to memories welled up in my chest, pushing some sick feeling up my throat. The lack of connection between my heart and brain was almost painful. I tried stuffing them back down; I wrapped my arms around my knees and brought them to my chest, letting the summer sun lull me to sleep in this room, my room.